His Movie Reviews

The funny thing about having a movie review blog is that a lot of people get you movie related gifts for Christmas.  When in doubt, get a theater gift card I suppose.   So with gift card in hand, we went to see the newest incarnation of the romantic comedy, Leap Year.  Amy Adams and Matthew Goode star in this film about a woman that hashes out this plan to propose to her boyfriend on February 29th in Ireland.  Of course nothing goes as planned and seeing that the other main star of the film is not her boyfriend, you can pretty much figure out the rest. Leap Year produces no clever advances or accomplishments to the romantic comedy genre, instead it is a straight by the book. In fact, just by watching the preview you get the whole movie in a nutshell. And with that being said, it makes this movie almost feel like a straight to DVD release.  Amy Adams is cute, but seems a bit weak in parts as conflict arises.  For example, when someone steals her bag, she rushes in then quickly turns timid and awkward.  Matthew Goode does an alright job but don’t expect an award winning performance.  Overall it is a simple love story that has been seen a million times before, and if you like romantic comedies, you’ll probably enjoy this.  The biggest flaw in this movie however is the horrible green screen.  Throughout the film, it is easily seen that they have been pasted into the beautiful landscape of Ireland and makes me wonder if they were ever there in the first place.  I mean seriously, I just paid $18 dollars for us to see this movie, at least make it look like they are actually there.  There are parts in the film where the green screen is about as good as what I can achieve with the fake iChat backgrounds on my Mac.  This one problem does a huge disservice to the film and especially Ireland.  I would say skip this movie, or just watch the trailer below – it’ll save you time and money.

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Having never traveled to Rome, or Italy, or anywhere in Europe for that matter, we take to the movies to escape into the cinematic Italy with the movie Nine. And if all the women dressed like those in Nine, I would be on the first plane to Italy.  But alas, they do not, and apparently people don’t randomly break out into song as well in Italy.  But me being American, I might have better luck in Paris for that sort of thing…. Anyways, filled with big stars and musical numbers, the story of Nine follows the erratic life of the most celebrated Italian movie director, Guido Contini.  Played by Daniel Day Lewis, Guido is a lost soul striving to create his next masterpiece all while his life falls apart around him.  Each piece of his crumbling life is shown through the relation and interaction of seven different women.  That is the basis I was able to glean from the film, after that I have no idea what is actually happening.  I wanted to really like this film and performances in the film stand out as wonderful.  Fergie, Marion Cotillard, Judi Dench, and Daniel Day Lewis all have outstanding performances. But the film itself never really melds to one complete story.  It just seems like you as an audience are sort of passed on to the next woman so they can sing their bit. And throughout, you hope for resolution and redemption yet it seems to never come.  The growth of Daniel Day Lewis’s character is minor and makes the first two hours of the film seem pointless.

But the main point of a musical is it’s songs, and again I have to say they aren’t that great.  I mean how many times can you put the name Guido in a song?  I think there is one where that’s the only words.  I should write a song with just my name, grab a bunch of big named actresses to run around in lingerie and sing it…Hello Broadway! I do say however, The actual voices (those big named actresses) are amazing and the choreography is good.  Fergie’s ‘Be Italian’ is one of the main highlights of the film and is probably the big reasons to watch.  But again, the story and words just don’t live up to expectations.  If you are a fan of musicals (or perhaps a bit of scantily clad women), I would say rent this and don’t expect too much.

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This review is going to make me very unpopular. Let me just advise you now, if you are a trekkie and don’t want to read a review by someone who has never watched a single episode of the show, do not read this. Consider yourself warned. I mean it, stop now! Because I do have a tendency of getting Star Trek and Star Wars confused quite frequently, and I make no apologies for that.

I learned one thing about myself from watching this film: I prefer my movies to take place on planet Earth, and preferably not in the future. I can see how people who watched the show, or other movies, would really love this. I totally get it, I’m just not one of them. The acting was great, the effects were unbelievable, but I just didn’t follow along with the story. At times the effects were overwhelming and I couldn’t keep up with it. Spock and his crazy time traveling confused me. And I continually had to ask who people were, and why they were doing the things they were doing. It all made sense to someone who understood, but since I am not a trekkie, I felt very out of the loop. Chris Pine was great, and no one can deny that Zachary Quinto played a spot on Spock! Simon Pegg is great, even if I couldn’t understand anything he said, but I thought his alien sidekick looked more like a tree stump than an extra-terrestrial.

I am just not a sci-fi person. It doesn’t do anything for me. But if you’ve watched the show, or enjoy this particular genre, I’m sure you’ll love it! I do happen to know several fans who will probably want to prosecute me for saying the things I’ve said, but there you have it (and please forgive me for how vague this is, as we watched it right before Thanksgiving, and the tryptophan may have wiped some of the details from my memory a bit).

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So with the recession and the crumbling state of the American car companies, there is only one thing GM can do….Go back to the big freaking robots and drum up some convoluted storyline that no one really cares about to make another big budget commercial.  Get Michael Bay on the line.  But seriously, they’re back.  And this time there is a really old transformer that was beaten down by humans in the Stone Age and wants revenge. So, much like the first one, there is something on Earth that has unmeasurable power that he is after to make him unstoppable.  To stop him, all of the old guys are back and they brought friends.  Because in this film, Michael Bay’s theory is big explosions in last movie = success, then bigger explosions = bigger success. Sorry to burst the bubble Mr. Bay, but your calculations to a good movie just don’t compute (hah a little robot/computer humor there – bad joke).   As the movie progresses, more and more transformers are being added and fighting to a point where its hard to tell what’s going on.  Sure you have crazy explosions but which robot is which.  You need to be able to cheer for the good guy, but how can you when they look all alike?  I think fewer robots and a little more attention to building those characters would have been a better idea then throwing more metal at the screen.  Hell, pretty much everything in this movie turns into a transformer, even people.  Which made me think, when did I start watching Terminator?  And now it makes me think, in the 3rd installment of this series, Megan Fox will finally reveal her true identity – robot bitch.  Although, anyone that hasn’t figured this out from her acting by now, hasn’t been watching her act (look up people, look up). My consensus for this movie is that it is another big budget action movie made by Michael Bay.  But compared to the first one, it seemed weaker and boring.  Hopefully in the third one, they trim some fat and focus on a few robots…Or maybe they can ditch the whole car thing and hit up Beast Wars – I loved that show.

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Look, I will admit I do have a soft spot in my heart for quite a few big budget summer blockbusters, but my friends, Transformers ain’t one of them! It was just too much, which I realize is one of the main factors too any blockbuster, but it was just TOO much, except dialogue.  Was there even a script for it? The acting was okay, as good as acting can be against a green screen.  I just felt like this film took all of the clichés and crammed them into these two films. Michael Bay has a simple formula that he follows to produce these movies, and it’s getting stale.

Transformers (the first one) was alright. This story showed the human aspect of the machines, and gave us insight into the lives of the characters before the inevitable war between their two worlds. I actually didn’t mind this one too much. Shia LaBeouf is really funny in this film, which I wasn’t expecting. His character, Sam Witwicky is charming and you connect with him because he plays a great underdog who is easy to route for. Megan Fox wasn’t half as bad as I was expecting. Granted, they didn’t give her much to work, dialogue or wardrobe, but she made the best out of the hand she was dealt. But the true highlights of this movie (or both, as a matter of fact) are Mr. and Mrs. Witwicky, played by Kevin Dunn and Julie White. Hands down, the greatest part of the film franchise. Please don’t even ask me about the plot or the special effects, because quite frankly I don’t know what I was watching half the time. It was a bunch of robots running into each other and after five seconds, all the pieces just blend into each other and you really don’t have a clue how they are destroying each other, or who is winning.  My suggest: color coordination. If you could just make the Decepticons one color (green, for example) and the Autobots another (orange) it might be helpful.

Transformers: Rise of the Fallen (number 2) didn’t need to bother with formalities or introductions, so it just delved right into the action. Sam goes off to college, leaving the love of his life with a kiss and a webcam. The mom, bless her heart, gets a hold of some “magic brownies”, and that is where the fun begins!  Sam meets a girl who is actually a Decepticon, but after they get rid of her, it’s never mentioned about how dangerous it actually is that the machines have evolved into looking like people!  The other thing that really bothered me about this film is the fact that they walk into a museum in Washington DC, and somehow walk out the back in the Boneyard (plane grave yard) in Tucson, AZ. Please give the audience a little credit here. Even if you don’t know it’s the Boneyard, it is easy to figure out that the surrounds in DC look nothing remotely similar to those of Arizona! I also hate when the result of the big action sequence is the destruction of a historical landmark. It was hard for me to watch them destroy the pyramids and surrounding areas. I just don’t think anything can be gained from showing a machine ripping apart a historical icon like that.

These movies are certainly a great escape from every day life, which is why I love cinema, but these movies just weren’t for me.  I can see why they have such appeal, and why they make millions at the box office. There will certainly be another Transformers soon. It just doesn’t mean I have to like it.